I'm on step two. I'm continuing to practice powerlessness from step one by calling my sponsor daily. Now I'm reading a bit in the AA 12 & 12 on most days and writing an "I see you God" list most nights. I was trying to do it mentally, but it doesn't work the same. I need to put pen to paper and write it out.
What's an I see you god list? It's a gratitude list. Gratitude lists always seemed so corny to me. But when my sponsor called it an I see you list it resonated with me. At night I think about my day and look for my HP in it. Things I could not do by myself, so it must be god. So for today it looks like this:
I see you god:
- in sticking to my food plan
- in paging Dr. L again even though he didn't return page Friday or Saturday (and not being angry about that)
- in calling my sponsor with no expectations
- in calling someone else in OA when my sponsor was unavailable
- in going to my meeting today and not even thinking that I might not want to go
There isn't anything huge and dramatic there, but any one of those things is impossible for me to manage on my own. Making the list makes me look at my life differently.
Mostly though, every time I make the list instead of blowing it off, I am following suggestions from my sponsor and practicing my program to the best of my ability. That's it. When I do what I'm told I should do everything is better. It's that simple.