I haven't felt like updating my blogs or writing much of anything online. I think my thyroid stuff will mostly get posted on Chicken Butt for now. There is program stuff I think about all the time with it, but I say it at meetings and to my OA buds on the phone and just haven't got anything left to type. I'm scared. I'm worried. There is nothing I can do but take the next step and try to turn it over.
Today I found out it isn't Hashimoto's disease. My endocrinologist thought it was, but the blood test was negative for the antibodies that would be there if it was an auto-immune disease. I'm glad I don't have it, but if I did it would be pretty certain that I don't have thyroid cancer. Now I have more waiting to do. I go for a biopsy on Tuesday. My sister is going with me.
I've been struggling to get to work in the morning and then struggling to work while I'm there. The title of this post is a lyric of a Paul Simon song that makes me smile every time I hear it.
I went to an OA conference this past weekend. It was great on it's own and that it kept me from staying in my flat all weekend in pajamas worrying about my goiter.* I met some great people and heard some serious BB thumping that I needed to hear. I've been writing an evening inventory based on the directions in step 11 since I got home. Stuff that is recurrent or that bothers me is what I need to talk with my sponsor about. It feels great.
Okay, that's all I've got in my tonight. Thanks for all your kind words, thoughts and prayers.
* Yes I did say flat. I'm watching too much BBC, but flat feels right and condo sounds weird.
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