Me Jane

I weighed myself last week. I've lost another pound. I've now lost 89 pounds since becoming abstinent. I was expecting a bigger loss. I felt like I'd lost more than 16 ounces. Maybe that was the four pounds from last month catching up. I'm twenty-one days from turning 38. This spring I was doing DietMath to figure out how much I would have to lose to hit 100 pounds lost by my birthday. I won't be weighing myself again before September 3rd, so I know my number. It's 89 and I'm satisfied with that. What does my birthday have to do with my weight anyway?

Last week at a meeting someone shared a metaphor that I've been thinking about a lot. Program is like swinging on a vine Tarzan-style. When you hit the highest point on your swing you better grab on to the next vine or you'll be going backward. I've got to keep moving on my steps or my program will fall back. I know this. I've experienced it, yet I keep doing just enough work on my eighth step to keep from falling back, yet I'm not ready to finish it and grab the next step. Oh crap, now I've got that yodeling Tarzan-boy song in my head. (Oh-oh-oh---oh-oh---oh-oh--oh-oh-oh---oh-oh--oh...)

I think I'm a new grand sponsor. That's so cool! It makes me feel really connected to the program. Someone I've shared my experience, strength and hope with is now passing her ESH to someone new. I still feel like very much a newcomer, there is so much I don't know. But this makes me think of all the people in program, past, present and future. I'm a part of it. I love OA.

Comments

[butterflygirl17]

I love the Tarzan analogy. It really does seem to work that way. Congratulations on your physical recovery. I am trying to establish my abstinence. I have been going to f2f meetings since December but have not totally put the food down yet. I know that is what I need to do. Thanks for your inspiration.

[Gwen]

You are doing great, very inspiring. For me, I don't like to focus on specific weight/poundage as much as how I feel and how my eating is going. I only weigh myself once a month to help minimize this. It all depends on your disease and how it works, I guess.

[Dodi]

Thanks butterflygirl! It took me a long time to surrender my food, it's an ongoing process. Keep going to meetings and you'll get there.

Gwen, I don't like to focus on the number either, and I do only weigh once a month (more accurately, once a cycle). Some day I hope to get to a point where I don't have to weigh at all, but I can still delude myself very easily about my progress or lack of it. Thanks for commenting.