Today is the first anniversary of my commitment to abstinence. I’ve written about this a lot in the last few weeks so I won’t re-hash how I finally managed to make it stick. I feel like I should be wearing a party hat today. This is a huge milestone for me and I couldn’t feel prouder.
Thank you to everyone reading this. WIT has been a positive force in my recovery. I’ve met some wonderful people struggling with the same disease through this blog.
I’m so frick’n grateful today. I’ve been fighting with the food again lately, but today life is good. I did have to talk myself out of breakfast from McD by way of celebration (I already had it this week, once is all I get). As soon as I decided to eat oatmeal at the office I was glad.
Last night I journaled before bed. I wrote a list of things I’ve learned this year. Here are some of those things:
- I never regret making the most loving choice.
- Prayer really does work, even though I have no idea why.
- It’s okay to feel pain.
- Pain will fade if I allow myself to feel it.
- Participating in my life makes time move slower and faster at the same time.
- I can enjoy myself at parties without breaking my abstinence.
- I cannot fix other people.
- I cannot recover in isolation.
- Sponsors really do get a lot from their sponsees.
- Guilt is a form of fear. If I identify the fear within the guilt it goes away, either because I face the cause and change it or accept that there is nothing I can do to change it.
- The Big Book is awesome.
- Name it. Claim it. Dump it.
- Meetings bring me sanity.
- Doing steps 1, 2, 3 & 7 every morning in the shower starts my day on the right foot.
- I am lovable, flaws and all.
Sorry I'm a little late saying congratulations, but I've been a little slow on the blog-reading of late.
I just wanted to say how proud I am of you (I realize that might sound silly coming from someone you've never met) but I am. I'm so happy to hear that you know you are lovable, flaws and all. That is just about the most important thing to know in life.
love,
Marisa
Posted by: Marisa | September 27, 2006 at 12:39 PM
Thank you Marisa! I do feel like I know you.
Dodi
Posted by: Dodi | November 10, 2006 at 03:59 PM