Surrendering sugar

I read Sober Chick's comment on yesterday's post and started thinking some more about that day I gave up sugar. In memory I made the decision to not eat sugar in the morning, but I looked at my other blog Chicken Butt (CB) in September. I made the decision not to eat sugar while writing a post. I hadn't started WIT yet in September, so I put it all over at CB.

Here is my first post from September 19: You can even eat the dishes. It is all about my struggle with sugar. In the fifth paragraph I made my decision:

"

So, for today, I will not eat sweets. I’m not going to worry about white bread or simple starches today. I will not eat sweets or anything that has sugar in the first five ingredients. I’ve already had Diet Coke today. I’ll probably drink it tomorrow too. I also know from past experience that the first couple days are easier than the third and fourth days. At that point the crazy thinking kicks in. I try to justify, rationalize or trick myself into eating sugar.

Instead I will write, I will call people from OA, I will drink more water than I usually do, but I will not eat sugar today. It starts now. I will never be ready to quit, there will never be enough sugar to satisfy me, and so I just have do it. Arrrr!"

The rest of the week I tacked on sugar progress reports to all my posts. I'm not sure why August and September are missing from the index of archives on the sidebar. Here is the the September archive from CB.

All this thinking and writing about sugar has me feeling vulnerable. There has been a cheese and some fruit danish sitting on a table about six feet from my desk all day. I wasn't seriously tempted, but I did spend more time pondering how it would taste than I'm comfortable with. The danish is gone, but there a little bits of the white sugar drizzle on the table and no one else is around. If you think I wouldn't eat sugar debris you're crazier than I am.

Comments

[Sober Chick]

I just discovered on Friday that one of my friends in AA was in OA too, and he gave up sugar as part of his program. When I hear of people speak about this they sound so serene, and embrace the effects of no sugar.

I am not sure why I fear this so much, I will continue to expose myself to others and their food prgrams and listen . . .

I understand the vulnerability, the exposure of struggles. I am thankful you posted this! I know I am not alone in the obsessive thought patterns and trust the hope!