Chicken Butt

Benign

Results are in. Both biopsied nodules are benign. Hooray!

I'm surprised by my lack of joy at the news. I'm still angry that the radiologist would only biopsy the two largest. I'm pissed that the endocrinologist's staff told me yesterday at 3 pm that they had the results, but the doctor never called me until 6pm today. His staff told me around ten this morning that it was benign, but I needed to hear it from the doctor himself.

The follow-up plan is to get another ultrasound in six months. I'm still having trouble trusting that one of the tiny nodules isn't a mutated clump of cells that will slowly grow to malignancy.

Thank you to everyone for your positive vibes, prayers and good thoughts. I've had an amazing outpouring of love from friends since all this started.

Not Hashimoto's disease

I don't have the energy right now to start from scratch so I'll post part of the email I sent to the growing list of people I've promised to keep up to date about my thyroid situation. Here goes:

I don't have Hashimoto's disease. The test was negative for the anti-bodies.

Is this a good thing? If it had been Hashimoto's disease, then cancer could be pretty much ruled out.

Now I need to wait for the results of the biopsy. The test is Tuesday morning in Elmhurst, so I might have results by next Friday.

For the record, I hate the word goiter. It conjures images of sepia-toned ladies with bullfrog necks. That's what they are calling it though, a multi-nodular goiter. Gross.

Here is a brief summary so far:

• March 19 - Routine Physical - Dr. notices a lumpy thyroid. Orders an ultrasound.
• March 22 - Ultrasound at Delnor Hospital
• March 24 - Multiple nodules on each lobe of thyroid. Referred to Endocrinologist.
• March 31 - Initial consult with Dr. Z, adorable endocrinologist. He believes it is Hashimoto's disease. Orders blood test for antibodies and an Ultrasound Fine Needle Aspiration(FNA ) biopsy.
• April 3 - Results of antibody test shows it is not Hashimoto's disease.
• April 8 - Biopsy scheduled at Elmhurst Hospital

Thanks for all your kind words, thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated.

I hate the word goiter

I saw the Endocrinologist on Monday. I liked him; he took time to explain what he thought and listened to my concerns. He thinks I have Hashimoto’s disease. If I do, it is statistically unlikely I have thyroid cancer. It’s an auto-immune disease, so to verify Hashimoto’s they test for auto-antibodies. I had blood drawn Monday afternoon to check for those. I am scheduled to go in next Tuesday April, 8 to have biopsies done on the nodules.

Jennifer had thyroid cancer last year, she said that biopsies are not fun and I’ll be sore, but they aren’t too bad. She recommends I take any pain drugs they offer. The doctor says my neck will be bruised. So that’s something to look forward too.

I’m doing okay overall. I’m back in a wait-and-see mode. Hashimoto’s disease has its own fun things, but from what I’ve read so far it mainly involves checking my thyroid function a lot and if my thyroid fails I get to go on hormones for the rest of my life. I skipped over Hashimoto’s when researching before my appointment because it is usually hereditary, causes hypothyroidism, and causes enlarged thyroid. No one in my family has thyroid disease that I know of (my mom was adopted, so there is some unknown). My thyroid hormone levels are practically perfect and what I appear to have is a multi-nodular goiter, not an enlarged thyroid.

If I don’t hear from the Doctor tomorrow morning I’m going to call. They should have the blood test results by then.

Not lopsided then

Nine nodules. All over the damn gland. I see an endocrinologist on Monday. The lab report is full of words I never saw before Monday. I've done some research. There are some things that point to benign and others that point to malignant. More tests will be run. Statistically what I have is a multi-nodular goiter. I'm really trying to take comfort in that. I sort of lost my mind this week. My hands are still shaky. I can't concentrate except when I'm reading about thyroid diseases and I went MIA from work. They say that if you had to pick a cancer, thyroid is a good bet. I've talked with two friends that had thyroid cancer. They were very reassuring and scared the crap out of me at the same time. I'm still waiting wake up from this nightmare. I'm trying not to be a drama queen. Especially because a goiter is a ridiculous, embarrassing, undramatic ailment. (Please, please let it be a goiter!)

What hump?

It is not snowing today. It is certainly not snowing so hard I can't see across the street. Nor will five inches accumulate today. I know this because it is March and I've had enough snow this year. Period.

I have an ultrasound of my thyroid scheduled for tomorrow, Saturday at 1pm. I'm doing a decent job of focusing on other things. I haven't even told many people face to face. I'm trying to avoid my typical drama queen role. I'm scared, but there is nothing I can do. I won't know anything until sometime next week. Even then I could know nothing more except that they want to do more tests.

Physical

I am scared. I went for my physical and all was well until she was checking my thyroid. “Hmm,” is not a good sound from a doctor any time they are examining anatomy. She said I could be shaped that way or it could be a nodule. Since she noticed she wants to see what’s there. I want to do more research, but more general info is just going to make the panic worse. I know nothing to differentiate and all the symptoms sound like mine, even though three hours ago I had no symptoms.

I can’t even call the hospital to schedule the test until tomorrow. The paperwork has to be done first.

I’ve talked to a few friends and that helps. Of course I jump to cancer in my mind. When I say it out loud or type it I get scolded for going there. Honestly, where else would I go? I didn’t really go there until I read something about nodules producing excess levels of TSH (or T4 or T3) but that cancer didn’t increase the levels. My levels are all dandy. My shrink checked my levels in February. I brought a copy for my doctor. Wikipedia: blessing or curse?

So, I’m working hard to convince myself that my thyroid is merely lopsided. Otherwise I’ll start thinking about the irony of finally getting my shit together and getting cancer. I’ll start writing the screenplay of a lousy Hallmark movie in my head. Think asymmetrical people.

Note: Posting on WIT too.