Physical

I am scared. I went for my physical and all was well until she was checking my thyroid. “Hmm,” is not a good sound from a doctor any time they are examining anatomy. She said I could be shaped that way or it could be a nodule. Since she noticed she wants to see what’s there. I want to do more research, but more general info is just going to make the panic worse. I know nothing to differentiate and all the symptoms sound like mine, even though three hours ago I had no symptoms.

I can’t even call the hospital to schedule the test until tomorrow. The paperwork has to be done first.

I’ve talked to a few friends and that helps. Of course I jump to cancer in my mind. When I say it out loud or type it I get scolded for going there. Honestly, where else would I go? I didn’t really go there until I read something about nodules producing excess levels of TSH (or T4 or T3) but that cancer didn’t increase the levels. My levels are all dandy. My shrink checked my levels in February. I brought a copy for my doctor. Wikipedia: blessing or curse?

So, I’m working hard to convince myself that my thyroid is merely lopsided. Otherwise I’ll start thinking about the irony of finally getting my shit together and getting cancer. I’ll start writing the screenplay of a lousy Hallmark movie in my head. Think asymmetrical people.

Note: Posting on WIT too.

Comments

[Mari]

I'll think good thoughts for you. If it's any consolation, nodules on the thyroid are REALLY common. Most of them are not cancerous. It could be a fluid-filled cyst or even a 'cold' nodule that is not cancerous. Believe me, I know the mind will still go to The C Word, but it will probably be fine. I'm sending good karma your way.

[Dodi]

Thanks for the good karma Mari! I can use all the help I can get. I'm trying to stay positive. I really don't know a thing yet. There has been much deep breathing involved.