Cast out

I’ve been cast out of my favorite part of Christmas. Since my mom died I’ve been sleeping at my sister’s home on Christmas Eve. I help put out the gifts and fill the stockings and then BugBoy wakes me up Christmas morning to participate in opening the stockings. This morning sis called to ask if I’d mind not sleeping over.

She told me she loves having me there but that with the baby her stress level is already high. She said that it is too much to have three adults shower there and get the kids ready for the day. She mentioned that I never sleep very well there anyway. Then she said the thing that struck me as being the real reason. She wanted to have time with just her family for a brief time in the morning.

Ouch. Now I couldn’t sleep there even if she changed her mind because I have been put in my place as outsider. Nothing like getting kicked out of a holiday tradition to remind me I’m single, childless and alone. I don’t plan to have children of my own and thought that was okay because I’m a devoted aunt. I figured eventually I’d opt out of the morning ritual if/when I find love and do couple-y things (oh, that sounds medieval). So do I have to get a man to be part of a close family Christmas morning again? What do I do in the meantime? I’m not even looking for love. I’m busy getting myself pulled together.

I’m trying to be a grown up and see my sister’s point of view, but I’m hurt and feeling alone.

December 21 Update: This morning my sis called me at work to re-invite me. When she told her husband what she'd done he got pissed and told her to re-invite me. I plan to go, but make my own plans for next year. I told me she had hurt me. She said she didn't mean to and couldn't I see it from her side? Um yeah, sure. I explained that uninviting me was mean. She apologized. I accepted. I'm relieved it wasn't my BIL's idea. I'm not convinced she wants me there, but I want to be there with the kids so I'm taking the high road and going. I have an emotional hangover from yesterday and I slept badly. Such drama.

Comments

[Trackrick]

Man, that sucks.

I'll withhold any further comment, as I know that it's one thing to say stuff about members of your family and another for people outside of your family to say similar things about members of your family.

I'm sure there was a more succinct way of saying that. heh.

Hope you have a good Christmas anyway!

[Karen]

Hmmm, I'll give your sis the benefit of the doubt here and say it's just stress talking, and that she didn't mean to be hurtful. Congrats on taking the high road - you did the right thing. My suggestion for next year is to take a trip somewhere fun - do a bicycle tour or go somewhere sunny and warm. Get out of your usual surroundings and take advantage of your single status! Couples with kids can't just pick up and go, but you can - do it!

[Dodi]

Thanks guys! Karen, I'm not sure I'm ready to abandon all traditions. I'm by far the sentimental one in the family. Luckily I don't have to figure that out for at least eleven months.