I'm struggling. I need to do the writing my sponsor told me I should do last week. I haven't yet. I know I should surender and just do the next thing, but I don't. I'm on step three. I need to just do the work and get on with it.
I've written a lot of posts that never make it online. I kind of poop out before finishing or decide that what I've written is more a rant than anything useful so I delete it.
My Wednesday night meeting finally moved to a new church in a neighboring town. It's got heat and everything! No more getting there early to turn the oven on to take the edge off. The lighting is good too. It's awesome that others have taken responibility for getting things done. I don't think anyone thinks of it as my meeting anymore and that is a very good thing. It has a life of it's own now. I love that.
It is so hard to make the connection between the actions (or inaction) I take and my connection to god. It's better now that I can think of my higher power as the god of my experience. No matter what debates I cling to over theology, my experience of praying and turning things over is enough basis for faith that it works.
I'm glad I have a meeting to go to tonight.