Step nine progress, target me

I did two things today that moved me forward within step nine. I made a dentist appointment and an appointment for a physical. Big deal right? No big deal. Except that it took me from September until today to make those calls.

Living amends to myself means taking care of myself. I have not been to the doctor or dentist in three years. I'm not anxious about the physical. I've lost about 90 pounds since my last visit and just had blood work done so I know I'm okay. I need to get references to get the cysts* on my head removed and probably should get my first mamogram and see a dermatologist to check out my moles. I'm a moley girl, always have been. There are some in the center of my back that I can't keep an eye on and have a low level background fear about melanoma.**

I am afraid of the dentist though. If I don't make an appointment for my six month checkup I never go. I get the postcards every six months and then never do anything until I find myself in pain. I'm not in pain, but there is stuff going on in there that I don't want to think about. I always feel shame when I go in. I am not a regular flosser and it is embarrassing and painful when they settle in to chip off the plaque. I know that once I go for my checkup there will be countless followup appointments for crowns, root canals and who knows what else. I think my gums are receding. I'm running out of whole teeth.  I don't want to be the old lady with loose dentures. Bionic dentures might be interesting. Hmm.

Anyway, I see my doctor next week and my dentist next month. It feels good to have those things off my list of things to do.

 

* Had one since collage. My dad had them too. In the last year it got bigger and a second one sprouted. They are front left side of my head. The original one is big enough that my hairdresser noticed. Time to get them removed. Hate the thought of shaved areas and scars on my scalp.

** "I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming." I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!"***

*** Yes, this bit really does goes through my head every single time I encounter the word Melanoma. Every. Single. Time.

Comments

[Bianca Jackson]

Dental phobia is very common among people. You're not the only one. But if you just have the courage to go through everything, you'll realize the results can do you good more than you expected. I know some people who were afraid of going to the dentist too, but they overcame their fear and now have healthy and strong teeth. It's only a matter of facing your fears and looking at the goal you want to achieve. =)