I feel unfocused today. I woke up at 3:30am this morning and I'm not sure if I ever got back to sleep. I know I was still awake at 4:30am. But I did get out of bed just 9 minutes after I needed to. I got to work in plenty of time to make my 9:30 meeting. Which was really pointless and we decided to postpone until I could review what I need to before discussing it.
I'm going to my sponsor's house on Saturday morning to talk. I'm going to bring my defect rocks and talk about each one with her. I wrote down all my character defects on rocks, but I didn't discuss each one with her, until I do I don't feel like I throughly covered step six. I think this is why I've stalled out on step eight.
My yogi is coming to my home tomorrow to practice. I've tidied up a bit from the October costume building mess, but not really. There are dishes on the counter and the whole place needs vacuuming. I meant to tidy last night, but I blew it off. It is her first time coming to my home so I would like it to be company clean, but that just isn't going to happen. Which leads me to guilt, shame, fear and recriminations. Here is the thing, she loves me for who I am. I've known her for years and she really won't care. So tonight, after a meeting, I'll pick up all the miscellaneous crap in the living room so there is room for us to practice (the library was my target room, but that just ain't happening) and I'll vacuum tomorrow before she comes over. Anything else is a bonus.
I've also been thinking about step two lately. Nothing solid has formed yet, I'm just pondering how my thinking has changed since I first walked into the rooms.