Chicken Butt

Hey, I'm published

Go to The Morning News to read the story of my first horror movie. TMN's Of Recent Note feature is a collection of ~150 word stories from TMN writers and reader submissions on various topics. I usually start to write something for it, but this is the first time I've sent one. I'm pretty sure they use every submision. Also, I'm so used to posting comments as Dodi I didn't put my real name on it. I'm the only one using a nickname.

My story is third from the bottom. They embedded video clips for each story, which is pretty cool. The article was posted on October 29, but I just saw it today because I've been sick. Is it swine flu? I don't know. I think it is just broncitis. I didn't go to the doctor though. I never caught my fever higher than 99.7 and I've mostly had a killer headache, dry cough and low grade fever. My nephews, who do have swine flu are snotty, wet-coughing, feverish messes.

In case I didn't state for certain before. I am not doing NaNoWriMo 2009. Nor am I doing any other structured activity this month. I do intend to keep using my craft room regularly though. I have to take my sewing machine in for repair. The reverse function is broken. I hope the Creative Sewing Center doesn't drive me crazy with rotten service this time.

I haven't asked my sis for permission to post pics of her kids yet. So no Halloween pics yet.

Knock wood

Halloween costumes are in progress. So far I’m on track (I think). Three weekends left before school parades and H day. My goal is to finish all costumes on time without pulling any all-nighters.
Status:

Pirate vest: In Progress - needs buttonholes and buttons
Pirate pants: In Progress - needs waist elastic stitched, leg elastic waiting for boot cover completion
Pirate boot covers: Not Started
Pirate shirt: Not Started – considering buying adult pattern instead of altering child pattern
Pirate head scarf: Not Started
Snowman costume: In Progress – Fleece pieces cut
Snowman hat: In Progress – needs new band w/ flower. needs glue touched up to black from sizing changes. Should fit now, smaller felt hat glued inside too large top hat.
Ballerina tutu: Not Started - materials purchased.
Ballerina top: Not Started – probably needs embellishments to shirt sis will buy/find
Dark Fairy skirt: Not Started, materials purchased, ruffler foot bought, test gathering in progress.
Dark Fairy top: Not Started
Dark Fairy wings: In progress – wings purchased, need modifying if there is time

Ugh, so now that I wrote it out I don’t feel as impressed with myself. Maybe I’ll work on the boot covers so I can finish the pants too. I’d feel better if I had anything completely finished. At least this year I’ve got patterns for everything. Which is less stressful, but not as exciting either. It is frustrating figuring out what sewing instructions and unclear diagrams mean.

The pink chiffon and satin for Sis’s ballerina tutu arrived today. It will take time to get together, but once I figure out proper adjustment for the ruffler foot to gather 3-to-1 it should go pretty smooth. I will install my first invisible zippers for the snowman suit and do not have a special invisible zipper presser foot. I found this tutorial for using the standard zipper foot to sew invisible zippers, so I should be okay. Until this week I didn’t even know there was a specific foot for invisible zippers.

A huge thank you goes to Karen, who bought the snowman pattern in Canada and shipped it to me here in Illinois. Burda Fashion doesn’t sell it in the USA. Burda also doesn’t include seam allowances in the patterns. Both these things are very strange.

Apropos nothing, I read People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks this weekend. It was very good. I wonder why I let it sit on my to-read shelf for so long. (Please do not point out the correlation of reading a novel in three days to my costume progress. I do not acknowledge the implied causation.)

A good deal

My sis called to let me know her newly repaired jeans are awesome. Her favorite jeans had torn on both back pockets at the inner top corners and a spot by the butt seam was worn through one layer and not yet hole, but very close to baring her bottom. We picked a cute pattern from my stash. I used a method I saw on Craft: How-To: Patching Pants with Stylish Stitches. The patch fabric goes on the inside and you just zigzag stitch over it in all directions, like a sewing machine scribble. The blue thread I used was practically invisible and the actual holes small so only one small area shows the pattern. Okay, looking at that first link again, we should have used a heavier patch fabric. We were going to do a reverse appliqué on her knee like this, but the knee wasn’t a hole quite yet. Both those posts are from their March Mending Month series they did this year. There are a lot of good ideas from those posts.

What’s the good deal? Sis gets uneasy doing nothing and couldn’t sit and watch me work. (I know, weird right?) So she washed my dishes, wiped my counters, took my garbage and recycling down to the garage, broke down boxes from new shelves and a lamp I assembled on Saturday, and vacuumed most of my home. She did all that work and then thanked me for helping her out. She needs me to hem pants for her oldest, so maybe she’ll wash my windows next weekend.

Do I even like making things?

Yes, I do like to make things, though no one could tell this by my actions. I must seriously ask myself if I like making things or just shopping for the materials. When I’m home with time on my hands I’m too tired, too engrossed in my book, too sore, too close to bedtime or too uninspired. When I’m just a tiny bit inspired I want to drag my projects out and figure out how to work on them from my recliner. I have a craft room. It has 40” widescreen TV, a large sturdy work table and a good office chair. The lighting is not good yet, but I’m fiddling with it. The room is not cozy or friendly yet. There is too much disorganized stuff in it. All that wouldn’t matter if I really wanted to make something.

It is 37 days until Halloween and I’m working myself up a bit. I have four costumes to make this year: a pirate, a snowman, a ballerina and a dark fairy.  I have patterns for everything this year. Or I will when the Snowman costume arrives. Thank you Karen, my Canadian friend! (Burda has a cute pattern, but will not ship to US.) Not having to pull ideas out my ass to design the things should make things less stressful. The thing stressing me out right now is that I have to make adjustments to the pirate costume to make the shoulders and everything about one size wider. I must excise my perfectionist tendencies and just start. Once I get going I’ll start enjoying myself.

Recent craftiness

My contribution to yesterday's picnic:

Replaced my planner cover:

Double clock for work:

Click on the photos for more pics and notes.

Plate of shrimp

This blog is such a cool idea: Different Strokes from Different Folks

Artists submit paintings based on a photo provided. Every couple weeks there is a new photo. There is a wide range of skill represented, but I have no doubt that regular participants are improving their skills from participating.

I didn't know about this site until last week, but I own two paintings created for the challenge. I bought one of the paintings sort of on accident because I thought I had already bought it. I had both in my Favorites on Etsy and bought the less expensive one first, then sort of lost track. They are very different except for the three white pumpkins. They are different sizes, medium and composition, and I didn't realize they had a common inspiration until now. I thought it was a weird coincidence, just something in the air. Looking now I can see that both listings clearly say where the inspiration came from, I just didn't pay any attention before.

I like them both and am glad I have them:
 

(Click pics to enbiggen)

Here is the blog post. (scroll down to end to see original photo) or just look at thumbnails of all submissions including the photograph.

I like the idea of voluntary assignments. I chaffed under assignments in school, but restrictions imposed from external forces usually made my work better. When left to my own devises my work was mushy and mostly without focus. This challenge could be a good way to brush up on basic skills.

Tangentially related: I sorted through most of the papers I possess while on vacation. I found slides of my work from my Bachelor of Fine Arts senior show. There is some other work I hadn't thought of for years in there too. I've added them to my list of things to scan into digital format. When I get to it I'll post anything that doesn't mortify me. Some of it still cracks me up.

So, anyways...

I have a touch of crafter's block. I read skimmed the manual for my new serger the night I got it and it intimidated the excited right out of me. I sympathize with all those who never take that fucker out of the box. I hope that the "Inspirational" CDs help. Two factors have kept me from watching them:

1. They are CDs, not DVDs and are compatible with Windows 95 and higher. So I'll have to watch them on my work laptop. That last thing I want to do at home is hook up my work computer. I leave it in the car on weekdays and right by the front door all weekend.
2. Fear. If these CDs don't enlighten me I'm SOL. Sure there are all kinds of positive posts about how easy it is to thread with just a little effort in the beginning, but part of me thought I would different, that my brilliant mind would immediately grasp the mechanics and I wouldn't even need the videos. I am so full of crap.

So yep. Nothing was sewn at my home this weekend. I even felt guilty enough about it to avoid sewing two more pool towel hoodies I have materials for. I did let go of a bunch of books from my shelves and assorted piles around my home. I took two paper ream boxes of books to Goodwill on Friday after deleting them from my LibraryThing (LT) library. I can see why people have created different categories on LT for books they've read but do not possess.

Pre-Kindle it was really hard for me to delete entries on LT. It is one thing to decide I'll probably never read the book again and won't want to loan it out, but to delete a LT entry that tells the world "I own this book" is hard, especially when I've gone to the trouble of tagging it and rating it and sometimes even writing a review. The fact that most of the books I've deleted from LT have two stars or less and have tags like "lousy" has little to do with the difficulty of letting go.

I also read some paper books this weekend. I read two YA books on Friday I wasn't sure I should keep or not (kept one of them). And then I read three Robert B. Parker books from the Spenser series. The Spenser books are as easy going as the kid books but with more blood. I decided to read Small Vices, the one where Spenser almost dies after the Grey Man shoots him and Susan and Hawk secretly nurse him back to health in California before he comes back and solves the case. I thought I could just read that one. It's the twenty-third in the series I think. But no, I finished that one and went right for #1 (Godswolf Manuscript). I finished #2 (God Save the Child) at midnight last night. I had to read the second one because Spenser meets Susan in it. And I'll probably go on because Hawk hasn't appeared yet and I thought #2 was about Paul, but it wasn't that comes later.)

Alright, I just lost everyone who reads CB right there didn't I? But that illustrates something important to my collection I think. There are some books that I will read again and again and there are some books I cannot recall at all even though I know I read them. Sure my collection is less complete without The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but I will never read that book again. It was depressing and way too long. Sure I felt superior when Disney spun their story and happied up the ending, but I don't lose that knowledge without the paperback and I don't get points for being well-read. Plus, if do for some crazy-assed reason want to read Hogo's Hunchback again I can download it for free from multiple locations on the net and read it on my Kindle.

My collection will have less balance and no longer contain most the books I've bought since Jr High, but it is more personal and relevant this way. So far I haven't missed anything I've let go in the last couple years.

Another gadget in the house

The worst thing I can do to my bank balance is to declare I’m not buying any more stuff. I have an allergic reaction or something and shop incessantly. Yesterday I went to Hobby Lobby because I was embarrassed to go into Joann’s Fabrics again this week. I wanted to buy four cones of serger thread*. Why you ask? Well, for my brand new Brother 1034D Serger** with 22 stitch functions that arrived via FedEx today.

So now I need to learn how to thread the damned thing, which is notoriously complicated on sergers. There is an instruction DVD to help learn the process. I think it is worth it to really study this, because I wouldn’t get half the enjoyment from sewing on my regular machine if I had not taken the free lesson that came with the machine. I don’t think my mom ever changed her needle, but I change those suckers all the time. I also can set my machine up to all of its stitches with relative ease using the manual. I do not think I would have ever adjusted the tension or tried anything beyond straight and zigzag if I hadn’t had a hands-on lesson. Of course I would not have broken my overlock foot then, which was close to the tipping point that decided me on buying a serger. (Said incident also led to accelerated needle changing as it took two shattered needles until I was convinced it was broken.)

I want to try to sew some of my own clothes. I’m thinking just tops and maybe some skirts. Luckily I am currently able to find jeans and work pants just fine. I’m so tired of being stuck with what some idiot buyer decides people should be buying. I’ve seen some really cute tops that I wouldn’t be caught dead in because they have little or no sleeve. I’m sure there are plenty of plus sized women with lovely arms, but I’m not one of them and would happily spend my summers in ¾ length sleeves.

So hopefully I’ll get some solid long term use out of my new serger. I’ve got way too many gadgets and supplies that I thought would be awesome that I never really use. Of course I’ve got at least nine more years of Halloween costumes to make so I’ve got that going for me.

* Sergers use big cones of thinner thread than all purpose sewing. I usually buy Gutermann thread, but it is $5.99 for a smaller cone than some of the other brands. Four cones are needed to do a four thread stitch, for each color needed. I bought a different brand (but not no name brand) at Hobby Lobby for $2.99 at 40% off ($1.80). I'll stick with white to do my practicing on. (Bored yet? No? Really?)

** For those of you who haven't been obsessively reading sewing blogs and researching sergers a brief explaination: Sergers use multiple threads and sometimes multiple needles to sew through fabric as well as over edges. It also cuts the fabric as it goes. Chances are that every piece of sewn clothing you have on has serging in it. Check out your seams. Often there is a straight stitch and sewing on the edges. This makes pants inseams stronger and makes neat stretchy seams on your t-shirts. It also keeps fabric from unraveling. Here is a great article about sergers on Sew, Mama Sew! that pushed me over the edge to ordering it. It has pictures of the different stitchs, all of which appear to be made on the same machine I bought. People seem to either have the 1034D or really expensive brands. The cheapest serger at the store I got my sewing machine from was $999, the most expensive on display was $1900. The 1034D was $200.

Begun and done

I did it! I made two zipper pouches this weekend. I used the tutorial for boxy pouches I mentioned in my last post*. I bought the fabric Friday and washed it, then made the bags on Saturday. Gave them to the boys on Sunday. NtT napped with the bag under his pillow. So I'd say they were a hit. No idea of they'll enjoy the Play Mobile sets, but the bags were really satisfying to make. It was so awesome to have an idea, buy the materials and complete the project. I usually  get the stuff and then stall, or start in and then stall. So this goes into the finished pile and makes me happy.

I also tidied the craft room, assembled a small wire shelving unit and hemmed the drapes. Hooray me.

Here is a link to the zipper pouch Flickr set.

* TItle of last post is an homage to Melissa's series of posts on Suburban Bliss documenting her family's lack of appreciation of her cooking, titled Did They Eat It?

Average lifespan of Canada Geese: 24 years

It is time for me to start eating like a grown up. This includes cooking, not reheating frozen servings of my favorite carbs, but actual combining of ingredients into more than the some of their parts. I want food synergy. Of course, to cook I need clean vessels and counter space. Which are both in short supply in my home. Also, a clear kitchen table and at least one chair would be nice.

I realized yesterday that I had moved all my kitchen chairs into my dining room months ago in a frenzy of activity that left me a pile of stuff to remove from my home and a sad absence of usable space when I pooped out before finishing my task. So my urge to throw together a soup from the contents of my cupboard went nowhere when I cataloged all the tasks required before I opened the first tin. I want a clean cozy kitchen. I just don’t want to expend effort to get it. Sigh. I guess my desire to cook like a grownup must be proceeded by the discipline to maintain my possessions like an adult.

I’m also insecure about cooking. I love to read cookbooks but I usually don’t see the general knowledge that I am looking for. I love my America’s Test Kitchen Family Cookbook, but with all their cool tricks and interesting facts I could not find any information about cooking rice to freeze for later. Maybe there is no trick to it, but I think rice would get mushy if cooked as usually and then frozen in smaller portions for later. I love brown rice, but don’t see me waiting for it to cook after getting home from work late. I love my frozen Trader Joe’s rice, but I eat the whole 2 cups as a main course rather than eat a serving and waste the rest.

There is also no information on cooking a turkey breast in any of my cookbooks. I don’t need to know how to clean, prep and cook a whole bird. I want to know how to get fresh cooked, moist, white meat turkey with zero gizzard contact and minimal carcass. When I ask my sister how to do it she shrugs and says, “You just put it in the oven.” She also just makes up recipes as she goes along. Almost my entire food prep experience is of the mix, heat and serve variety. I think I could count on my fingers the times I made meals from scratch that didn’t include a can of soup or dried mix. I guess I’ve cooked a lot on a grill, but mostly just meat and veggies. I’m too insecure to grill for other people. There are too many over- or under-cooked meals to subject anyone else to my grilling.

I know I have to learn by doing. I’ve seen people work their way through cookbooks online and find it fascinating. I want to learn how to really cook, but I also know that I am undisciplined and need to focus on eating balanced low-fat meals. Plus no sugar, but not sugar substitutes or look-alike foods.

Did I also mention I really want to draw, again? Yep, so far all I’ve done is shop for more supplies. What I really need is the perfect (pen, paintbrush, pencil, pastel, notebook, canvas, paper, journal, or inspirational guide) to make it all come together. It doesn’t matter that in my head my drawings look like nothing I’ve ever done. It doesn’t matter that I’ve got an abundance of supplies already.

Bah. I’m just depressing myself. I don’t want this to turn into yet another post I’ve written and then erased or let languish on a hard-drive. Forgive my pretentious turns of phrase. I got a compliment on my writing today and it went right to my self-conscience head. So, I haven't edited this, please forgive.