My life coach dumped me last night. She is ending her individual therapy practice to focus on reconciliation counseling* and corporate consulting. While she hasn’t singled me out, it feels like a break up. I’ve been seeing her for at least ten years, since my mom told me I had to lose weight to be in my sister’s wedding. (In case you were wondering, I put on at least 40 pounds between that pronouncement and the wedding.)
Over the years she helped me deal with a lot of baggage, change and pain. At times I visited her once a week, sometimes monthly depending on my state of mind. She knows me. She knows my history. When I get discouraged she can list all my accomplishments since she’s known me. It’s like talking with a close friend because I don’t have to go into all the background, I can tell her the newest thing and she can put it into context. She also tells me when I’m full of shit. Once in a while I’ll come in with a new theory or idea and she never hesitates to call “Bullshit!” on me.
She suggests I find a new therapist through my insurance company. I’m doing fine right now, but that can change very quickly. I need to establish a relationship with someone so they have a base-line for my sanity. I hate this. I’m just getting my shit together and now I’ve got to break in someone new. I’d be really screwed if I didn’t have a whole team of people helping me. I’ve still got the OA fellowship, my OA sponsor, my yogi, and my shrink (Rx only).
I hate change. I’m not good at it. She is extending the end date for me, but I want to ask if she could just keep seeing me on the side. Just don’t leave me, and you can see whoever you want. Pathetic aren’t I?
*I told her this sounds like hell to me. She said it is hell, but it’s challenging too.