Chicken Butt

So, anyways...

I have a touch of crafter's block. I read skimmed the manual for my new serger the night I got it and it intimidated the excited right out of me. I sympathize with all those who never take that fucker out of the box. I hope that the "Inspirational" CDs help. Two factors have kept me from watching them:

1. They are CDs, not DVDs and are compatible with Windows 95 and higher. So I'll have to watch them on my work laptop. That last thing I want to do at home is hook up my work computer. I leave it in the car on weekdays and right by the front door all weekend.
2. Fear. If these CDs don't enlighten me I'm SOL. Sure there are all kinds of positive posts about how easy it is to thread with just a little effort in the beginning, but part of me thought I would different, that my brilliant mind would immediately grasp the mechanics and I wouldn't even need the videos. I am so full of crap.

So yep. Nothing was sewn at my home this weekend. I even felt guilty enough about it to avoid sewing two more pool towel hoodies I have materials for. I did let go of a bunch of books from my shelves and assorted piles around my home. I took two paper ream boxes of books to Goodwill on Friday after deleting them from my LibraryThing (LT) library. I can see why people have created different categories on LT for books they've read but do not possess.

Pre-Kindle it was really hard for me to delete entries on LT. It is one thing to decide I'll probably never read the book again and won't want to loan it out, but to delete a LT entry that tells the world "I own this book" is hard, especially when I've gone to the trouble of tagging it and rating it and sometimes even writing a review. The fact that most of the books I've deleted from LT have two stars or less and have tags like "lousy" has little to do with the difficulty of letting go.

I also read some paper books this weekend. I read two YA books on Friday I wasn't sure I should keep or not (kept one of them). And then I read three Robert B. Parker books from the Spenser series. The Spenser books are as easy going as the kid books but with more blood. I decided to read Small Vices, the one where Spenser almost dies after the Grey Man shoots him and Susan and Hawk secretly nurse him back to health in California before he comes back and solves the case. I thought I could just read that one. It's the twenty-third in the series I think. But no, I finished that one and went right for #1 (Godswolf Manuscript). I finished #2 (God Save the Child) at midnight last night. I had to read the second one because Spenser meets Susan in it. And I'll probably go on because Hawk hasn't appeared yet and I thought #2 was about Paul, but it wasn't that comes later.)

Alright, I just lost everyone who reads CB right there didn't I? But that illustrates something important to my collection I think. There are some books that I will read again and again and there are some books I cannot recall at all even though I know I read them. Sure my collection is less complete without The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but I will never read that book again. It was depressing and way too long. Sure I felt superior when Disney spun their story and happied up the ending, but I don't lose that knowledge without the paperback and I don't get points for being well-read. Plus, if do for some crazy-assed reason want to read Hogo's Hunchback again I can download it for free from multiple locations on the net and read it on my Kindle.

My collection will have less balance and no longer contain most the books I've bought since Jr High, but it is more personal and relevant this way. So far I haven't missed anything I've let go in the last couple years.

Another gadget in the house

The worst thing I can do to my bank balance is to declare I’m not buying any more stuff. I have an allergic reaction or something and shop incessantly. Yesterday I went to Hobby Lobby because I was embarrassed to go into Joann’s Fabrics again this week. I wanted to buy four cones of serger thread*. Why you ask? Well, for my brand new Brother 1034D Serger** with 22 stitch functions that arrived via FedEx today.

So now I need to learn how to thread the damned thing, which is notoriously complicated on sergers. There is an instruction DVD to help learn the process. I think it is worth it to really study this, because I wouldn’t get half the enjoyment from sewing on my regular machine if I had not taken the free lesson that came with the machine. I don’t think my mom ever changed her needle, but I change those suckers all the time. I also can set my machine up to all of its stitches with relative ease using the manual. I do not think I would have ever adjusted the tension or tried anything beyond straight and zigzag if I hadn’t had a hands-on lesson. Of course I would not have broken my overlock foot then, which was close to the tipping point that decided me on buying a serger. (Said incident also led to accelerated needle changing as it took two shattered needles until I was convinced it was broken.)

I want to try to sew some of my own clothes. I’m thinking just tops and maybe some skirts. Luckily I am currently able to find jeans and work pants just fine. I’m so tired of being stuck with what some idiot buyer decides people should be buying. I’ve seen some really cute tops that I wouldn’t be caught dead in because they have little or no sleeve. I’m sure there are plenty of plus sized women with lovely arms, but I’m not one of them and would happily spend my summers in ¾ length sleeves.

So hopefully I’ll get some solid long term use out of my new serger. I’ve got way too many gadgets and supplies that I thought would be awesome that I never really use. Of course I’ve got at least nine more years of Halloween costumes to make so I’ve got that going for me.

* Sergers use big cones of thinner thread than all purpose sewing. I usually buy Gutermann thread, but it is $5.99 for a smaller cone than some of the other brands. Four cones are needed to do a four thread stitch, for each color needed. I bought a different brand (but not no name brand) at Hobby Lobby for $2.99 at 40% off ($1.80). I'll stick with white to do my practicing on. (Bored yet? No? Really?)

** For those of you who haven't been obsessively reading sewing blogs and researching sergers a brief explaination: Sergers use multiple threads and sometimes multiple needles to sew through fabric as well as over edges. It also cuts the fabric as it goes. Chances are that every piece of sewn clothing you have on has serging in it. Check out your seams. Often there is a straight stitch and sewing on the edges. This makes pants inseams stronger and makes neat stretchy seams on your t-shirts. It also keeps fabric from unraveling. Here is a great article about sergers on Sew, Mama Sew! that pushed me over the edge to ordering it. It has pictures of the different stitchs, all of which appear to be made on the same machine I bought. People seem to either have the 1034D or really expensive brands. The cheapest serger at the store I got my sewing machine from was $999, the most expensive on display was $1900. The 1034D was $200.

Begun and done

I did it! I made two zipper pouches this weekend. I used the tutorial for boxy pouches I mentioned in my last post*. I bought the fabric Friday and washed it, then made the bags on Saturday. Gave them to the boys on Sunday. NtT napped with the bag under his pillow. So I'd say they were a hit. No idea of they'll enjoy the Play Mobile sets, but the bags were really satisfying to make. It was so awesome to have an idea, buy the materials and complete the project. I usually  get the stuff and then stall, or start in and then stall. So this goes into the finished pile and makes me happy.

I also tidied the craft room, assembled a small wire shelving unit and hemmed the drapes. Hooray me.

Here is a link to the zipper pouch Flickr set.

* TItle of last post is an homage to Melissa's series of posts on Suburban Bliss documenting her family's lack of appreciation of her cooking, titled Did They Eat It?

Will she make it?

I bought some Play Mobile sets for Nephews the Second and Third. Nephew the First was never into playing pretend and never showed interest in these toys. I’m not sure Second or Third will like them either, but I saw this Vet Operating Room and had to buy it for NtS (Nephew the Second).

I think NtS will love it. There are some many things here: an x-ray machine, bandages, surgical tools, two dogs, a cat and a turtle. There are so many medical sets he’d probably like, the ambulance is awesome, but I didn’t want to spend $50 on something that might be discarded in a week.

NtS is all about playing doctor. Anything medical and he loves it. I put together a doctor bag for him for Christmas and it is tough to keep it stocked with bandages. He showed me the contents a few weeks ago and there were more Matchbox cars than Band-Aids in it.

The PM sets are mostly tiny parts. Tiny parts have short life spans around the Nephews Three. So before I bring the toys over I’m making bags to store the pieces in. I made some drawstring bags to wrap Xmas presents in, so that was what I thought I would do at first. Very easy and quick to make, but not sure the tiny fingers would tie and untie. I do have some spring catches I could put on the cord. I made a vinyl bag for NtS stethoscope that turned out nice, but I just used a magnetic closure. Tiny pieces would just fall out. So I was thinking zipper bags, but I haven’t done a zipper since Jr. High.

If I decide to go Velcro I’ll make these easy tote bags from Super Eggplant. Some day I’ll use her pillowcase tutorial too.

Here is a zippered boxy pouch tutorial from three bears that might work perfectly, but I’ll have to change dimensions.

Here is a boxy pouch tutorial with lining and handle.

The more I look at it, the more I think the boxy pouches will work well. So I need to buy some zippers and some fabric. I could use stuff from my stash, but it will be too much fun picking out fun fabric for each of them. NtS would love anything Transformers and a John Deere print would be great for NtT. Anything with tractors, trucks, Diago, or puppys would work for either though. So do I head to Walmart for super cheap stuff where I'll have to find a cutter, resist the urge to buy forty billion great deals on stuff I don't need and then wait in line with all the it's-Friday-and-I-just-got-paid customers? Or go to Jo-anns where I feel like I'm getting ripped off if I don't have a coupon? Difficult Friday afternoon choices.

Will she make it?

I bought some Play Mobile sets for Nephews the Second and Third. Nephew the First was never into playing pretend and never showed interest in these toys. I’m not sure Second or Third will like them either, but I saw this Vet Operating Room and had to buy it for NtS (Nephew the Second).

I think NtS will love it. There are some many things here: an x-ray machine, bandages, surgical tools, two dogs, a cat and a turtle. There are so many medical sets he’d probably like, the ambulance is awesome, but I didn’t want to spend $50 on something that might be discarded in a week.

NtS is all about playing doctor. Anything medical and he loves it. I put together a doctor bag for him for Christmas and it is tough to keep it stocked with bandages. He showed me the contents a few weeks ago and there were more Matchbox cars than Band-Aids in it.

The PM sets are mostly tiny parts. Tiny parts have short life spans around the Nephews Three. So before I bring the toys over I’m making bags to store the pieces in. I made some drawstring bags to wrap Xmas presents in, so that was what I thought I would do at first. Very easy and quick to make, but not sure the tiny fingers would tie and untie. I do have some spring catches I could put on the cord. I made a vinyl bag for NtS stethoscope that turned out nice, but I just used a magnetic closure. Tiny pieces would just fall out. So I was thinking zipper bags, but I haven’t done a zipper since Jr. High.

If I decide to go Velcro I’ll make these easy tote bags from Super Eggplant. Some day I’ll use her pillowcase tutorial too.

Here is a zippered boxy pouch tutorial from three bears that might work perfectly, but I’ll have to change dimensions.

Here is a boxy pouch tutorial with lining and handle.

The more I look at it, the more I think the boxy pouches will work well. So I need to buy some zippers and some fabric. I could use stuff from my stash, but it will be too much fun picking out fun fabric for each of them. NtS would love anything Transformers and a John Deere print would be great for NtT. Anything with tractors, trucks, Diago, or puppys would work for either though. So do I head to Walmart for super cheap stuff where I'll have to find a cutter, resist the urge to buy forty billion great deals on stuff I don't need and then wait in line with all the it's-Friday-and-I-just-got-paid customers? Or go to Jo-anns where I feel like I'm getting ripped off if I don't have a coupon? Difficult Friday afternoon choices.

And the sun burns into your eyes

I bought a little painting of a lemon at a fine arts fair this weekend. It is a reverse painting on glass and a bit modern compared to rest of my kitchen paintings, but since is mounted on a black plaque it looks fine. Except that the colors are muddy. I didn’t notice it in the booth because all his work was in the same palate, but compared to the bright primary colors in most of the other works it looks drab. I almost bought an apple and pear too. I’m glad I didn’t. It would probably look okay on the wall over the piano if I can get over my OCD instinct that puts all the produce in one room.

I really should take down all my art and redistribute it better. There are a lot of things I should do in my condo. There are paint swatches taped to my walls for about four years now. And my head ran off into the billion big and little things I have not done at home. Gah!

I stayed up way too late last night (um, this morning) reading Killing Floor. It’s the first Jack Reacher book from Lee Child. It’s pretty good. It’s actually the second one I read. I downloaded Persuader, the eighth book in the series, for free and then bought the first and started reading without even a bathroom break. According to Child’s website there are thirteen Jack Reacher books at present. (And I Don’t Know is on third.) I finished the book at lunch today and just bought number three on Amazon. So when I turn on the wireless on my kindle I’ll have the book to start reading at dinner. The battery lasts so much longer without wireless on all the time. Not sure why I was so reluctant to turn it off before. It is only three clicks to toggle it on and off.

I've also decided if I even need to do a cover of a song or use a song to illustrate a movie it must be TheThe's That was the Day. Just so you know.

Stop drop and roll

Fear de-motivates me. My fight or flight default response is flight. My mind flees reality and I go to ground. What is that frozen state of prey called? The inability to act in paralyzed hope that if you don’t move the predator won’t see you.

Yesterday I had trouble getting to work again. When I arrived late I found that several coworkers in an adjacent group were laid off. I vowed to never be late again. My actions of course fell short. I got here at 8:45 this morning. This is not horrible, but my self-declared (and heavily recommended) arrival time is 8:30. I found out about 15 more layoffs in another group today.

Both groups to lay people off are former organizations of mine. I left one group when the tech developers were restructured into tech-only orgs separate from content. A couple years ago I transferred with a promotion into my current group.

While fear debilitates one part of my head and another part still does not believe it could happen to me. Sure I’ve been here 12 years, but so have some of the people let go this week. Good news is that my group’s pipeline appears much fuller than the other groups and we’ve already cut onshore resources close to the bone.

I should immerse myself in the detailed work I have on my plate now. I have time to concentrate on it and no one in need of supervision for about a week. (Having a meaty task I can sink my teeth into without keeping a dozen other tasks flowing through India and Argentina is a luxury.) Instead I’m wandering around the building and the internet aimlessly. How do I learn discipline?
I think the only way to learn discipline is to take disciplined action consistently. My immobility in the face of stress makes this a catch-22 loop of inaction. So far my actions have been:

• spurts of productivity on my task
• wandering, in cyber and meat space
• writing this post
• whispered conversations as names of those sacrificed become known
• worrying

Average lifespan of Canada Geese: 24 years

It is time for me to start eating like a grown up. This includes cooking, not reheating frozen servings of my favorite carbs, but actual combining of ingredients into more than the some of their parts. I want food synergy. Of course, to cook I need clean vessels and counter space. Which are both in short supply in my home. Also, a clear kitchen table and at least one chair would be nice.

I realized yesterday that I had moved all my kitchen chairs into my dining room months ago in a frenzy of activity that left me a pile of stuff to remove from my home and a sad absence of usable space when I pooped out before finishing my task. So my urge to throw together a soup from the contents of my cupboard went nowhere when I cataloged all the tasks required before I opened the first tin. I want a clean cozy kitchen. I just don’t want to expend effort to get it. Sigh. I guess my desire to cook like a grownup must be proceeded by the discipline to maintain my possessions like an adult.

I’m also insecure about cooking. I love to read cookbooks but I usually don’t see the general knowledge that I am looking for. I love my America’s Test Kitchen Family Cookbook, but with all their cool tricks and interesting facts I could not find any information about cooking rice to freeze for later. Maybe there is no trick to it, but I think rice would get mushy if cooked as usually and then frozen in smaller portions for later. I love brown rice, but don’t see me waiting for it to cook after getting home from work late. I love my frozen Trader Joe’s rice, but I eat the whole 2 cups as a main course rather than eat a serving and waste the rest.

There is also no information on cooking a turkey breast in any of my cookbooks. I don’t need to know how to clean, prep and cook a whole bird. I want to know how to get fresh cooked, moist, white meat turkey with zero gizzard contact and minimal carcass. When I ask my sister how to do it she shrugs and says, “You just put it in the oven.” She also just makes up recipes as she goes along. Almost my entire food prep experience is of the mix, heat and serve variety. I think I could count on my fingers the times I made meals from scratch that didn’t include a can of soup or dried mix. I guess I’ve cooked a lot on a grill, but mostly just meat and veggies. I’m too insecure to grill for other people. There are too many over- or under-cooked meals to subject anyone else to my grilling.

I know I have to learn by doing. I’ve seen people work their way through cookbooks online and find it fascinating. I want to learn how to really cook, but I also know that I am undisciplined and need to focus on eating balanced low-fat meals. Plus no sugar, but not sugar substitutes or look-alike foods.

Did I also mention I really want to draw, again? Yep, so far all I’ve done is shop for more supplies. What I really need is the perfect (pen, paintbrush, pencil, pastel, notebook, canvas, paper, journal, or inspirational guide) to make it all come together. It doesn’t matter that in my head my drawings look like nothing I’ve ever done. It doesn’t matter that I’ve got an abundance of supplies already.

Bah. I’m just depressing myself. I don’t want this to turn into yet another post I’ve written and then erased or let languish on a hard-drive. Forgive my pretentious turns of phrase. I got a compliment on my writing today and it went right to my self-conscience head. So, I haven't edited this, please forgive.

I'm not a Trekie, but...

Man I love the new Star Trek movie! It delighted me. I clapped with joy when McCoy showed up bitching about space. Oh crap! I'm not writing a review or anything, but may spoil a bit. Stop reading if you haven't seen it yet!

Okay. Love it. Not going to get into plot points or bad science or anything here. There is plenty 'o that elsewhere. If you have affection for the ST universe, especially the original series, this movie is lovely. I saw the IMAX version at 1pm Friday afternoon. I took a comp day off to balance out some major unpaid overtime I've done this spring. The theater wasn't full, but all the good center seating was full. I think I was the only woman there unaccompanied by a man. There was a full age spread weighted heavily toward men in their 60s. I was also a racially diverse crowd.

When the movie was over I seriously considered buying a ticket to the next showing. (One advantage of being single. I don't often react that strongly. I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog twice in a row when I belatedly watched it. I saw at least one LotR movie twice in the theater, but I can't think of any others. I was so tempted to see it again Friday night but not a fan of very full theaters.

I took Nephew the Third to see it Saturday afternoon. He knew nothing of ST. I gave him some very basic info about the main characters beforehand (i.e., Vulcans have pointed ears, green blood and are stoic). When the first vulcan salute is given he tried to make the V with his fingers. It was so cute. He'd never seen it before and really could not do it. At home he showed sis and she could totally do it, but she said, "Na-nu na-nu." I asked why she could do it so well, she said she practiced and taped her fingers together to learn it. But she honestly thought it was only from Mork and Mindy.

So N3 liked it but was confused by the plot. Which when I tried to answer his questions I realized that I was too if I really thought about it. But who watches ST for the plots? The casting was perfect. Simon Pegg is a lovely Scotty, Bones is my favorite, Kirk was charming. Spock kept freaking me out though. Even with the Vulcan makeup I mostly saw Sylar and evilness. (Run away! RUn away!)

I watched the original series with my dad as a kid. I watched most of ST:TNG. I liked Voyager and loved Enterprise. I had not seen all the movies, but I watched 1-6 recently. I'll probably see ST again in the theater. I just really enjoyed the ride and would love it if more movies were made with this cast.

More Kindle McLoven

I went to Barnes & Noble to buy a gift certificate for my dad's birthday today. (He's now 73.) There were new hardcover books for two series I'm reading. Normally I would buy them both, but neither series is stellar. I pulled out my Kindle 2 and looked each of them up; both are available in ebook form. I bought them from the Kindle Store for 9.99 each. I felt a tad tacky doing it right at the shelf, but my bill at B&N was still over $100.* If the books had not been available as ebooks I would have purchased them today. I saved at least $30 and I won't have those two hardcovers sitting on my shelves gathering dust.

With my K2 I have seen the future and believed it as coming now, not at some fuzzy future date. Not only are my VHS tapes antiquated, but my DVDs are too. Not because of Bluray or some other hard copy format, but streaming media. I love my Netflix Roku, but it won't replace DVDs for me yet. The quality isn't as good, I have no say over widescreen or pan and scan formats, and there are no special features available, but I'm sure those will be available soon.

* B&N carries reading glasses that are available at +0.75 strength. I bought two pairs. This is very exciting, I couldn't even find any decent pairs online at that strength in ready-made form. One of the pairs is even sort of funky cool. Hooray!

New Toy: Kindle 2

I received my Kindle 2 last Thursday. I don’t love it yet. It’s a neat gadget and I think I will grow to like it a lot, but it is a big adjustment.

The text is clear. The default text size is working best. I’d like to go one smaller to reduce number of page turns, but I think I need a stronger prescription for my contacts, or I maybe it’s time for reading glasses.

I feel like I’m hurtling through the text and not taking it all in. I keep clicking the Next Page button too early. I miss the last couple lines and have to go back. I’m too aware of the medium to lose myself in the story. I’m reading an author I’ve never read before, so it could be the writing, but I think it is the Kindle. On Saturday I read for a while and got into the story. I think I just need to train myself that the ebook reader page turn cue comes later than the manual book page turn. It might take a while to override 30+ years of habit.

I decided I want to keep my K2 in a protective pouch along with a stand. There aren’t a lot of commercial options out there for the K2. I like the cases that open like a reporter notebook and can be used like an easel, but they are open on all but one side. Considering the flotsam in my purse I want more protection for this over-priced gadget. Some book shaped covers are enclosed with zippers, but the point is to get away from traditional book format. The best thing about reading with the K2 is eating in public without propping a book up at a good angle and having to hold the pages open. I use my planner to prop the book up and if I can, I wedge the edge of the book under the plate rim. This technique only works well in the middle pages of a book unless I wreck the spine.

I sewed a simple envelope of vinyl on Sunday. Velcro holds the flap closed. It will do for now, but I think more padding would be better. I looked on Etsy for a case, there are two sellers claiming to be the ORIGINAL. Their description text is almost identical except that one uses foam and the other quilted fleece. Their bitter sniping about each other’s products turned me off of both sellers.

Stands are more difficult. I’ve found two easels that are stable, but both are too wide and deep to be ideal. I spent some time in Home Depot yesterday looking for inspiration. I bought some acrylic sheets, some strap hinges and assorted epoxies and glues. I have a design in mind, but implementation might end up being less condensed than the plate stand I’m using in the interim. If only I had a 3D fabricator.

Funerals

Tomorrow I will attend my third funeral in six weeks. All for parents of friends and tomorrow it is a family friend I’ve known all my life. Jim Krempel was only 66. His wife was my Mom’s best friend. They have four children and two grandchildren (one more expected in April.) I hate this.

My mom was 60 years old when she died of breast cancer. She was one year older than Jim. Jim went out to get the mail a few weeks ago and fell, hitting his head. Even though he was in and out of ICU, no one expected him to die. I feel so sad and awful for his kids. I know how impossible life is for them right now.

My dad continues to ignore his health. He definitely has high blood pressure and probably has diabetes. He refuses to go to the doctor and insists he will manage his health through diet and exercise. He gets angry whenever sis or I talk to him about his health. He is an adult and there is nothing we can do about his choices. Even if we could somehow force him to get a physical, we could not force him to follow a doctor’s advice. Did my mom feel this helpless and worried as she watched my weight grow year after year?

A neighbor two doors down from my parent’s house (and next door to my sis) is also in ICU. She fell down her basement steps and cracked her skull. She did this the same week Jim fell. When I heard the bad news in sis’s voice on Monday I assumed she would tell me that Dorthea had died. I don’t know how she is doing. Last I heard she had not regained consciousness since the fall. Will I go to another service next week?

Hoo-fucking-ray! Ding dong the witch is dead! End of an Error! etc.

Wasn't the inaugural speech awesome? While I seemed to be the only one who booed (quietly) whenever CNN showed W on screen, the sense of relief that W's time is ending seemed universal among my co-workers. I don't expect all the damage to be undone by Obama, but at least I'll be able to see and hear the president nausea.

I think the nation is giddy with relief more than filled with hope for the new administration. I hope Obama never pulls a Clinton.